Ed Ahrens, Jr., Esq. writes monthly thought provoking Editorials on mediation. These views are Ed's and do not necessarily reflect those of Florida Mediation Group.

No, guys and gals, there is nothing lascivious about my advice. After all, I expect all the participants at my mediations to be fully dressed and paying attention to the business at hand.

About three years ago, in a piece entitled "The Eyes Have It!", I offered some comments about body language and the importance to mediators, attorneys and adjusters of being aware of it. Since then, I have had the pleasure of reading The Mediator's Handbook, authored by John W. Cooley and published this past year by The Institute for Trial Advocacy. Mr. Cooley came up with a number of other observations on the subject. I think they're worth sharing.

In Section 2.3 of The Mediator's Handbook, "Effective Processing of Sensed Body Language," Cooley states that "your effectiveness as a mediator will, in part, depend on your ability to accurately sense and interpret the body language of parties and their counsel." Good advice, although I'm not sure why he limits his advice to mediators, since attorneys and others present should benefit by being similarly observant — and, also, by being conscious of betraying their own inner motivations.

Verbal communications, Cooley explains, conveys factual information, while nonverbal conveys emotional information or feelings, the latter normally, but not exclusively, in the form of body language. Interestingly, he refers to "paralanguage" as a form of communication conveyed by vocal aspects. Examples are:

• Monotone voice (boredom)
• Slow speed or low pitch (depression)
• High voice or emphatic pitch (enthusiasm)
• Abrupt speech (defensiveness)
• Terse speed, loud tone (anger)
• High pitch, drawn-out speech (disbelief)
• Ascending tone (astonishment)

Cooley and I have a few differences of opinion as to body language, so you'll have to be the judge. When in doubt and where different, consider both as possibilities:

Looking at you sideways or not at all	Suspicious
Chewing on pen or biting fingernails	Nonreassuring
Doodling, drumming fingers	Bored
Rubbing Palms	Expectant
Finger touching nose; hand over mouth EPA: Rejection, disagreement	Doubtful
Rubbing/touching nose after speaking	Dishonesty
Clearing throat; wringing hands; tugging ear EPA: Thinking over an idea	Nervous
Clenched hands; rubbing neck	Frustrated
Interlaced fingers EPA: Inward struggle to keep silent	Self-controlled
Steepling of hands or fingers EPA: Feeling of superiority	Confident
Leaning forward	Interested
Open arms and hands	Open, acceptant
Index finger to cheek; removing/cleaning glasses	Evaluating
Sitting on edge of chair	Ready
Crossing arms on chest EPA: Reluctance to change one's mind	Defensive

I would add to these the following:

Patting the hair	Approval
Rubbing the eyes	Desire not to see something that might change one's mind
Tugging at shirt or blouse cuff	Self-satisfaction
Legs crossed, one foot swinging	Desire to walk away

Now, a word of caution. To the extent these "languages" are instinctive and not self-controlled, they will mean something to you and may even tip you off regarding the other party's intentions or strategy.

On the other hand, beware the thespian who uses these motions to mislead you. Body language must be assessed in the context of the entire person and the total setting. As Cooley says, "you must carefully read these physical motions in the context of their facial expressions and vocal clues and your perception of the motivation and goals of the parties to decipher the true meaning of their message."

I'll bank on the probability that most people are neither aware nor conscious of such physical movements and will betray themselves without realizing they are doing so. That said, it still pays to be a good scout and always be prepared!

So, watch the bod, but keep your mind on your business!

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